Video games made me do it

Destroy books for Television

The Television is playing a Japanese children's cartoon. The story seems to be about young children who wander the world, capturing magical monsters and then training them to fight in vicious duels against other wandering children with the same hobby. It's weird, but strangely compelling. Right now, there's a big battle on. The main critter-trapping kid is having his favorite cartoon monster fight against another kid's monster, but his monster's getting beaten pretty badly. It kind of reminds you of some masterminds you know. When all looks lost, he tries to rally the dwindling fighting spirit of his beast with a heroic speech.

Only you're not sure exactly who he's really talking to: 'You can't give up yet, Apicolypschu!' he pleads with the beast. 'Look at Dread Tomax! Even though Dread Tomax knows all about all the threats out there, both personal threats and threats to Television, Dread Tomax never gives up! Threats like books! Books are everywhere, constantly distracting people from watching Television. And Television is everyone's friend, so reading books is just like betraying your friends! Dread Tomax understands that! But Dread Tomax won't give up, and neither can you!' He turns his large saucer-like eyes directly at you. 'You won't ever give up, will you Dread Tomax?'

'See! Dread Tomax will never give up, and neither can we!' A look of joyful vindication speads across the young boy's cartoon face. 'And Dread Tomax will prove it! Once Dread Tomax has gone to the old warehouse and destroyed the books in there before they can get out and harm Television, that will show everyone! Dread Tomax, I choose you!'

The episode ends on that rallying cry. It all makes sense right now. Of course books are bad. You'd better go and destroy some before they hurt Television.

This warehouse is holding books donated by people in Paragon City. Maybe their Television made them get rid of them?

Objective: You've destroyed one of the book shipments

Objective: You've destroyed one of the book shipments

Objective: You've destroyed one of the book shipments

Mission Complete: You have destroyed the books and protected Television.

Couch Potato
Awarded for completing the mission

This time, there's another show on TV when you get back. An unctuous interviewer is introducing a very special guest on the program today. You watch, dumfounded, as YOU walk onto the set. Or at least, it looks like you and sounds like you. But you've never been on this show before in your life. After some quick banter, the interviewer asks the 'you' on Television a hard-ball question: 'What the world wants to know is, why did you do it Dread Tomax?' The Television-you answers without a second thought. 'I've thought about it a lot, and I've come to realize that all of my criminal tendencies and flamboyant fashion choices came from two sources: Books and other reading material, and more importantly, video games.'

'I knew it!' shouts the interviewer. 'I've been telling people about the dangers of video games for years!'

'Video games and books. You can't forget the negative impact of the books too,' the TV-you insists. 'If those books hadn't expanded my horizons, I would have just been a violent social misfit because of video games.'

'So you're saying it takes both?'

'One alone can do irreparable damage, but both together, well, you can see the results.'

'Fascinating!' the interviewer exclaims. 'So, Dread Tomax, what advice would you give a parent today that didn't want their child to end up as a villain?'

'That's obvious,' the TV-you explains. 'If you don't want your children to become violent criminals bent on world conquest, then you need to act immediately. Don't let them play video game. Keep them away from books. And you'd probably better keep them inside, too. I'd suggest that you replace those other activites with something better. Something that can heal them. I'd suggest Television. I often wish I'd watched more TV as a youth. Who knows what I could have been?'

They cut to commercial on that line. You're pretty sure you never gave that interview, but that definitely looked like you. Well, maybe you did. It all just seems confusing now.