The Great Mystery of the Universe

… time travelling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe: Women.

– Christopher Lloyd (Doc. Emmett Brown, Back to the Future part 2)

A Certain Lack of Qualities

The female is a female by virtue of a certain lack of qualities

– Aristotle


The USA … I completely detest it. It’s the most washed-up shithole I’ve ever been to in my whole life

– Nicky Wire (1992)

Forced Carnel Knowledge

Forced carnal knowledge, whatever else it may be, is good physical exercise and represents meaningful variation on normal marital relations. As pleasure, however, it has its limitations. For myself, I was so distracted that night be scratches, bites and screams, and by wondering whether one could be arrested for violating one’s wife (was pinching a felony or a misdemeanor?), that I must warn male readers that although desirable as a tactic, as pleasure one might better employ a quiet night alone with pornography.

The Dice Man (Luke Rhinehart)


Seduction is the art of making normal, desirable, good and rewarding what had previously seemed abnormal, undesirable, evil and unrewarding. Seduction was the art of changing another’s audience and hence his personality. I refer, of course, to the classical seduction of the ‘innocent’ and not the mutual masturbation of promiscuous adults.

The Dice Man (Luke Rhinehart)

To Change Man

To change man, the audience by which he judges himself must be changed. A man is defined by his audience: by the people, institutions, authors, magazines, movie heroes, philosophers by whom he pictures himself being cheered and booed. Major psychological disturbances, ‘identity crises,’ are caused when an individual begins to change the audience for whom he plays: from parents to peers; from peers to the works of Albert Camus; from the Bible to Hugh Hefner. The change from I-am-he-who-is-a-good-son to I-am-he-who-is-a-good-buddy constitutes a revolution. On the other hand, if the man’s buddies approve fidelity one year and infidelity the next, and the man changes from faithful husband to rake, no revolution has occurred. The class rule remains intact; only the policy of on a minor matter has been altered.

The Dice Man (Luke Rhinehart)

Only Saints and the Insane

But it isn’t easy; only saints and the insane ever try it. And only the latter make it.

The Dice Man (Luke Rhinehart)

One Desire

One desire, my friends, one: to kill yourself. You must desire this. You must feel that a voyage of discovery is more important than all the little trips which the normal consumer-self wants to buy.

The Dice Man (Luke Rhinehart)

Society’s Solution to Loneliness, Lust and Laundry

Lil and I had met and mated when we were both twenty-five. We formed a deep, irrational, obviously neurotic need for one another: love – one of society’s many socially accepted forms of madness. We got married: society’s solution to loneliness, lust and laundry. We soon discovered that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being married which being single can’t cure. Or so, for a while, it seemed to us.

The Dice Man (Luke Rhinehart)

Regardless of Taste

‘You don’t feel like it today? Who cares? You think I feel like spilling out my garbage three days a week? Come on, Dr Rhinehart, you’ve gotta like it. The world is built on the principle that all humans eat shit regardless of taste.

The Dice Man (Luke Rhinehart)

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