For all the things in life which make me glad I'm not dead yet.
Archive for August, 2003
Diarrhea
Aug 31st
I dragged myself to it with the enthusiasm of a man with diarrhea moving toward the toilet: I had a compulsive need to get it out but had some months earlier come to the conclusion that all I was producing was shit. - More ...
To Avoid Arguments
Aug 30th
My initiation into the mysteries of Zen Buddhism had taught me many things, but the most important was not to argue with my wife. ‘Go with the flow,’ the great sage Oboko said, and I’d been doing it for five months now. Lil had been getting madder and madder. After about twenty seconds of silence More ...
Ego-less Polymorphous Perversity
Aug 29th
I awoke a little before seven, cuddled up to my wife Lillian, who was accordioned up into a Z in the bed beside me, and began pleasantly caressing her breasts, thighs and buttocks with my big gentle paws. I liked to begin the day this way: it set a standard by which to measure the More ...
A Typical Successful Married Man
Aug 28th
My life before D-Day was routine, humdrum, repititious, trivial, compulsive, disordered, irritable – the life of a typical successful married man. - More ...
Happy Boredom
Aug 27th
Unfortunately, life seemed to get more boring. Admittedly I was cheerfully, even gaily bored, where before I had been depressedly bored, but life remained essentially uninterested. My mood of happy boredom was theoretically preferable to my desire to rape and kill, but personally speaking, not much. - More ...
The Shore of Zen
Aug 26th
My colleagues, and even myself, mumbling coyly by our couches, all asserted that my problem was absolutely normal: I hated myself and the world because I had failed to face and accept the limitations of my self and of life. In literature this refusal is called romanticism; in psychology, neurosis. The assumption is that a More ...
Despair
Aug 25th
In the midst of my cynicism I would occasionally daydream of the future. My hopes? To excel in all that I had been doing in the past: to write widely acclaimed articles and books; to raise my children so they might avoid the mistakes I had made; to meet some technicolour woman with whom I More ...
Unhealthy
Aug 24th
Now the desire to kill oneself and to assassinate, poison, obliterate or rape others is generally considered in the psychiatric profession as ‘unhealthy’. Bad. Evil. More accurately, sin. When you have the desire to kill yourself, you are supposed to see it and ‘accept it’, but not, for Christ’s sake, to kill yourself. If you More ...
Go to Russia
Aug 13th
He was rocking the boat, Milo said, and Yossarian nodded once more. He was not a member of the team, Milo said. Yossarian nodded and listened to Milo tell him that the decent thing to do if he did not like the way Colonel Cathcart and Colonel Korn were running things was to to go More ...
Be Patient
Aug 12th
It was not their fault that they were young and cheerful, he reminded himself as he carried the swinging beam of his flashlight back through the darkness. He wished that he could be young and cheerful, too. And it wasn’t their fault that they were courageous, confident and carefree. He would just have to be More ...